Insights from Experts@Elmwood featuring Vanessa Vakharia, The Math Guru
At Elmwood, we believe confidence and curiosity are at the heart of every child’s learning journe and that includes math. On a recent evening as part of our Experts@Elmwood series, we welcomed Vanessa Vakharia, founder of The Math Guru and leading voice in math education, for a conversation that was as empowering as it was enlightening. Her talk, “How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Scared of Math, Even If You Are,” offered a compassionate and science-backed perspective on how parents can help shift math mindsets at home regardless of their own past experiences.
We Are All Teachers of Math Attitudes
Vanessa began with a truth that resonates deeply in a school like ours: you do not need to be a math expert to help your child succeed in math. But you are a teacher of attitudes, beliefs, and emotions. A child’s emotional relationship with math is just as important as their cognitive one. And that relationship often starts with the signals they receive at home.
Our goal, Vanessa explained, is to nurture a positive math identity. Why? Because students who see themselves as capable, curious, and “math people” are more likely to engage deeply, persist through challenges, and ultimately perform better. Research shows that math self-concept predicts achievement. If a student believes they can, they are far more likely to try and thrive.
Math Anxiety Is Real—But It Is Not Permanent
For many families, math anxiety is a familiar feeling. Vanessa introduced the idea of math trauma: a negative math experience that lingers long after the moment has passed. When students internalize the idea that they are “not a math person,” their brains begin filtering every experience through that lens. This can lead to avoidance, lower achievement, and even fear.
But it does not have to stay that way.
The antidote? Helping children build a fearless mindset. In a frightened mindset, students stay in their comfort zone. In a fearless mindset, they stretch, risk, and grow even when success is not guaranteed. And that kind of mindset can be taught, reinforced, and celebrated at home.
Three Ways to Rewire Your Child’s Math Mindset
Vanessa shared three practical, research-informed strategies that parents can use to help their child rewrite their internal math narrative:
- Show Them They Are Already Good at Math
Brains believe what they hear often. When kids say “I’m bad at math,” their brains look for evidence to prove it. But math shows up in puzzles, Minecraft builds, baking, budgeting, and even trend-spotting. When parents reflect those moments back to their children, they help rewire self-belief: You already do math. You already are good at this.
- Redefine What Success Looks Like
If success means only top marks or awards, then failure feels like a dead end. Instead, parents can help kids define success as effort, persistence, and curiosity. When we reward those values, students feel safe to take risks, try again, and find joy in the process not just the product.
- Remind Them They Are Already Valued
Math performance is not a measure of a child’s worth. When students feel seen and supported, even when they struggle, they move from fight-or-flight to a state of calm readiness for learning. Parents can model that mistakes are not just accepted—they are expected, even celebrated. As Vanessa shared, “Every time you replace a negative math memory with a positive one, you are guiding a student away from fear and closer to freedom.”
A Final Reflection
Vanessa’s message was clear: Confidence in math begins with connection. When children know they are capable, celebrated, and safe, they develop the courage to persist even when things are hard. And that courage is not just for math class. It is the foundation for a lifetime of problem-solving, creativity, and resilience.
The link to the full presentation can be found here.